The last year has been pretty amazing. It almost seems crazy to type “AMAZING” because if you put it down on paper, I have went through some of the most difficult things in my life. Who in their right mind would classify some of the heartbreak and disappointments in the last year as “AMAZING”?
It is easy to talk about inner peace and being grateful when you have it all and everything in going the way you want it to.
It is far more difficult to be in the middle of the most heartbreaking event you’ve gone through, and have the certainty that everything will be okay.
It is down in this valley, surrounded by emotions of hopelessness and loss that in the past would have crippled me, and realizing something deep and intrinsic has changed.
I have changed.
It would be right in the past to describe me as fragile. Loss has been so commonplace in my life that I shut down. I have let negative thoughts and feelings control my perception.
When you successfully change your inner dialog, and you realize that you have done your best, you have given your best, and you can fight off bitterness with just minimal effort you have went from thinking you’ve survived to KNOWING you have.
I am not broken, not anymore.
No one likes to hurt. My granny used the phrase “tried by fire” When pottery is “tried” it is placed in the hottest fire and it burns the impurities away. It hardens the clay and makes it able to be a usable object. If the fire isn’t hot enough, or the vessel doesn’t stay long enough it will essentially be useless.
This year has been my fire, and here I am still standing. I’m still believing in the good things that are coming and I can let go of the things that aren’t meant for me.
Like I said, it has been one AMAZING year.