I’ve had a lot of hurt in life. There is something familiar about it.
Waking up is always the hardest part. The first few minutes you forget, or you think its just a bad dream, then you remember and relive the facts. Life the way you know it, the way you planned it, is never going to be the same.
Tears come they always do.
I welcome them because I know from past experiences numb is worse. There is nothing worse than not being able to feel what is crushing your soul.
Then I talk to myself, I make myself remember the most hurt I have ever been and I make myself remember that every time, even standing at the grave of my baby I have smiled again. I have loved again. I have thrived again.
Life is a roller coaster with incredible highs and lows.
I never want to be afraid to ride it.
Every time I am going to throw my hands up and enjoy the thrill of being alive.
The stomach flipping excitement of something new.
The love that I haven’t experienced yet. The kind that chooses me and never stops choosing me.
I will not let pain make me bitter. I won’t close myself off to the good that will always come again.
I am going to live every moment to the fullest.
I’m gonna love with all my heart.
I’m going to be me regardless.